Giggle
Sunday, July 17, 2005
I'm melting.....
This heat is atrocious. It's making us all crabby and short-tempered. I guess I can at least be thankful that it's not humid.
It's not getting any easier putting Mason down to sleep at night. He just draws it out and no matter how hard we try to stick to a routine, it doesn't work. "more bookies, more songs, more dinner day..." Luckily he's so damn cute or we'd throttle him. We don't know what to do anymore. I guess we go back to sleep training him and letting him cry it out. After the second time we just go in there, put him back in his bed and don't say anything. It's so hard to listen to him scream though...and I'm sure the whole neighborhood thinks so too. But it's not like we can close the windows.
We got to hang out with our new neighbors yesterday and it was a lot of fun. We really like them and are excited that they are due to have a baby in August. We have been really lucky the last few places we've lived - we've had some fantastic neighbors and we've managed to stay friends with all of them. It's really great. I'm looking forward to living here even more now.
It's not getting any easier putting Mason down to sleep at night. He just draws it out and no matter how hard we try to stick to a routine, it doesn't work. "more bookies, more songs, more dinner day..." Luckily he's so damn cute or we'd throttle him. We don't know what to do anymore. I guess we go back to sleep training him and letting him cry it out. After the second time we just go in there, put him back in his bed and don't say anything. It's so hard to listen to him scream though...and I'm sure the whole neighborhood thinks so too. But it's not like we can close the windows.
We got to hang out with our new neighbors yesterday and it was a lot of fun. We really like them and are excited that they are due to have a baby in August. We have been really lucky the last few places we've lived - we've had some fantastic neighbors and we've managed to stay friends with all of them. It's really great. I'm looking forward to living here even more now.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Life
I haven't posted for awhile because I haven't really had anything good to say. There have been lots of bad things happening to really good people in my life and it's been hard to deal with. And I don't want everything I write about to be negative.
So on a good note, I just found out my friend Diane is pregnant and due next March. This is really exciting news because she and her husband have been trying for some time to have a second child and we are all so happy for her.
Wolf and I were talking yesterday about how we may not lead exciting lives and me may not be rich but all in all we lead a very charmed and happy life. Yes, bad things happen, but good ones do too. I look at our beautiful children and all of his beautiful friends and I thank the powers that be that we have been allowed to have the privilege of raising, nurturing and loving them.
I was just telling my best friend Molly, who is as I type this is going through a very rough time, that I truly believe all things happen for a reason, even terrible things. It's hard to believe that when it's you going through it, but I think if we can just keep ahold of that simple thought, then we can get through anything.
Molly, you are an amazing woman, a wonderful mother and the best friend a girl could ask for. Know that I love you and am so very glad you are in my life.
Tomorrow Wolf and I are taking the boys to the beach, to enjoy a simple warm summer morning together in the sun. I am looking forward to it.
Sweet dreams.
So on a good note, I just found out my friend Diane is pregnant and due next March. This is really exciting news because she and her husband have been trying for some time to have a second child and we are all so happy for her.
Wolf and I were talking yesterday about how we may not lead exciting lives and me may not be rich but all in all we lead a very charmed and happy life. Yes, bad things happen, but good ones do too. I look at our beautiful children and all of his beautiful friends and I thank the powers that be that we have been allowed to have the privilege of raising, nurturing and loving them.
I was just telling my best friend Molly, who is as I type this is going through a very rough time, that I truly believe all things happen for a reason, even terrible things. It's hard to believe that when it's you going through it, but I think if we can just keep ahold of that simple thought, then we can get through anything.
Molly, you are an amazing woman, a wonderful mother and the best friend a girl could ask for. Know that I love you and am so very glad you are in my life.
Tomorrow Wolf and I are taking the boys to the beach, to enjoy a simple warm summer morning together in the sun. I am looking forward to it.
Sweet dreams.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
The unpredictability of life
Wolf and I found out today that an old friend of ours, Rick Thornton, passed away quite suddenly on Saturday. He wasn't someone we were particularly close to but he was someone who has been a part of our lives for a very long time. We don't know yet what happened - could have been an aneurysm, or a heart-attack - but it came as a complete shock, especially considering he was our age. He leaves behind a beautiful wife and 3 young children, the last of which was just born. It is so hard for me to get my arms around the fact that these children will grow up not knowing their father, and even harder for me to put myself in his wife's shoes.
I can see, sometimes, why it is that people don't leave their houses. I can understand how the randomness and unpredicablility of it all can get so overwhelming that you just can't deal. I may have written about this in a previous blog, I'm not sure, but I've been afraid of dying since I was a little girl. I can remember sitting up late at night, looking out my window and just sobbing at the thought that one day I just wouldn't be here. To this day if I think on the subject for too long, I start to panic. I get sick to my stomach and my palms start to sweat. It's especially bad now that I have children. Logically I know that things happen, I know that people die, I know that life goes on. But emotionally it's debilitating.
Most days I don't think about it. I have a wonderful life with little time to dwell on such morbidity, but there are those days when I'm run down and exhausted, that I think about it. The other day I read in the paper about a family who came down here from Seattle, I think it was, to celebrate the wife's brother's graduation. The family was driving through San Francisco and the woman was shot by random gunfire and killed, leaving behind a husband and a small child. Granted, they were driving through Hunter's Point, but the randomness of it is still pretty crazy. It's not only my death I fear, but that of those close to me - my husband, my children, my friends and family.
I must shake it off, I must push it away. I don't want to go to the memorial service but I don't want to miss it, either. I don't want to be overwhelmed. Deep breath. Focus. Think about good things-love, chocolate, sex, friendships, fresh cut grass, a good book, the smell of a baby's breath, the rantings of a beautiful toddler, a thank you from a stranger, the last 34 years of my life. Shoulders relaxing, breathing calm.
Goodnight. Oh but wait, as I type this, an emergency alert just came on the tv. A 7.4 earthquake just struck about 300 miles northwest of San Francisco. And if that isn't cool enough, the entire California coast should be prepared for any tsunamis that might develop as a result. Well all right. Glad we have flood insurance.
I can see, sometimes, why it is that people don't leave their houses. I can understand how the randomness and unpredicablility of it all can get so overwhelming that you just can't deal. I may have written about this in a previous blog, I'm not sure, but I've been afraid of dying since I was a little girl. I can remember sitting up late at night, looking out my window and just sobbing at the thought that one day I just wouldn't be here. To this day if I think on the subject for too long, I start to panic. I get sick to my stomach and my palms start to sweat. It's especially bad now that I have children. Logically I know that things happen, I know that people die, I know that life goes on. But emotionally it's debilitating.
Most days I don't think about it. I have a wonderful life with little time to dwell on such morbidity, but there are those days when I'm run down and exhausted, that I think about it. The other day I read in the paper about a family who came down here from Seattle, I think it was, to celebrate the wife's brother's graduation. The family was driving through San Francisco and the woman was shot by random gunfire and killed, leaving behind a husband and a small child. Granted, they were driving through Hunter's Point, but the randomness of it is still pretty crazy. It's not only my death I fear, but that of those close to me - my husband, my children, my friends and family.
I must shake it off, I must push it away. I don't want to go to the memorial service but I don't want to miss it, either. I don't want to be overwhelmed. Deep breath. Focus. Think about good things-love, chocolate, sex, friendships, fresh cut grass, a good book, the smell of a baby's breath, the rantings of a beautiful toddler, a thank you from a stranger, the last 34 years of my life. Shoulders relaxing, breathing calm.
Goodnight. Oh but wait, as I type this, an emergency alert just came on the tv. A 7.4 earthquake just struck about 300 miles northwest of San Francisco. And if that isn't cool enough, the entire California coast should be prepared for any tsunamis that might develop as a result. Well all right. Glad we have flood insurance.
Monday, June 13, 2005
Friday, June 10, 2005
A New Day
I've noticed that sometimes Mason will go to bed one kid and wake up a whole different one. The past couple of nights have been pretty rough for him sleeping wise. Last night he woke up just screaming and screaming and we couldn't get him to stop. He was angry and frustrated and nothing we could do or say would help him. We felt so badly because we didn't know what was causing it. So we just rode it out, sitting on the floor with him and letting him do whatever he needed to do. Finally whatever it was passed and he was able to get back to sleep. Wolf gave him his leapfrog Tad and that seemed to help him. We heard him later on in the night turn it on and play some music. Thankfully there were no more screaming sessions.
Then this morning he woke up in the best of spirits and seems to be different, older. He is very clearly talking in complete sentences now and is getting very good at communicating. This morning I was in the kitchen getting breakfast ready when he looked up at me from the office and says, "miss you so much, mama." My heart just broke. And he very clearly says I love you now. Such a sweet, gentle soul, he is.
I took him to check out a new school yesterday, one that is closer to home and has gotten rave reviews. We met with the owner of the school who showed us around. I was very impressed, both with her and the school, and she was likewise impressed with Mason. If we get him in now, he is set for school all the way until kindergarten. He is in a school now with a teacher he absolutely loves, but he will only be in the class until October anyway, so I think we might make the switch. He seemed to have a lot of fun playing with everything although I'm sure it will be a rough transition for him to leave his Nessa. We don't have school days we have "'Nessa days."
Well, we are off to Lisa's, aka Art Start, where Mason loves to do art, and loves to see Lisa.
Then this morning he woke up in the best of spirits and seems to be different, older. He is very clearly talking in complete sentences now and is getting very good at communicating. This morning I was in the kitchen getting breakfast ready when he looked up at me from the office and says, "miss you so much, mama." My heart just broke. And he very clearly says I love you now. Such a sweet, gentle soul, he is.
I took him to check out a new school yesterday, one that is closer to home and has gotten rave reviews. We met with the owner of the school who showed us around. I was very impressed, both with her and the school, and she was likewise impressed with Mason. If we get him in now, he is set for school all the way until kindergarten. He is in a school now with a teacher he absolutely loves, but he will only be in the class until October anyway, so I think we might make the switch. He seemed to have a lot of fun playing with everything although I'm sure it will be a rough transition for him to leave his Nessa. We don't have school days we have "'Nessa days."
Well, we are off to Lisa's, aka Art Start, where Mason loves to do art, and loves to see Lisa.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
They say it's your birthday.....
Yes, today is my birthday. 34 years ago today, I escaped from my mother's womb, as Wolf so kindly put it. I've always been a big lover of my birthday. So much so that I would make sure I told people at least one week ahead of time to remind them. It's not the presents part or the getting older. In truth, I'm not sure what it is. It's just a day when I feel all giddy and happy and glad to be alive. It is the celebration of my birth.
But I must say that having two kids kind of takes some of the celebration out of it. Check that, it takes the energy out of the celebration. It's hard to be enthusiastic about a day when you are up at 5:30 and know that the rest of the day is going to be filled with terrible two tantrums and screaming 2 month olds.
All in all, though, I can't complain. I have the love of a most amazing man who makes me feel like nothing else in the world matters and I have two beautiful and sweet little boys who make my life complete. Getting older only gets better because of the love and friendships that you develop along the way. Life truly is a roller coaster, with so many ups and downs, twists and turns, and I must admit, I'm really starting to enjoy this ride.
Cheers everyone!
But I must say that having two kids kind of takes some of the celebration out of it. Check that, it takes the energy out of the celebration. It's hard to be enthusiastic about a day when you are up at 5:30 and know that the rest of the day is going to be filled with terrible two tantrums and screaming 2 month olds.
All in all, though, I can't complain. I have the love of a most amazing man who makes me feel like nothing else in the world matters and I have two beautiful and sweet little boys who make my life complete. Getting older only gets better because of the love and friendships that you develop along the way. Life truly is a roller coaster, with so many ups and downs, twists and turns, and I must admit, I'm really starting to enjoy this ride.
Cheers everyone!
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