I KNOW that time goes by quickly, I KNOW that I will blink and another year will be gone, yet somehow I am shocked every time the holidays roll around or when I turn another year older. I want so much to enjoy every minute, to relish in my children's youth, to not miss a snuggle or a comment or just a simple moment, but I can't seem to grab hold of enough of those minutes. Every morning is a rush to get us all out of the door, every day is spent working at a job that I don't enjoy, and every evening is spent trying to get dinner on the table before it's time for the kids to be in bed.
Wolf and I had 11 days off together over the holidays and it was heaven. It is a tradition for us, one we started before kids and one we have managed to keep going, no matter what jobs either of us have. For three days we put the kids in their respective school/aftercare and spent some quality time together. We went out to breakfast, we hung out in the book store, we saw a movie - all of the things we can't really do, well, peacefully anyway, when the kids are around.
The last day of the New Year we spent at the Oakland Zoo, playing, hanging out and simply having fun. The weather was perfect and we could not have asked for a better way to end the New Year. That night we went to a party at a friend's house where we celebrated ringing in the New Year at midnight East Coast time so that all of the kids could be in on the festivities. We were home by 11:15 and somehow, both boys managed to make it to midnight, although just barely!
Now it is a New Year and I see wonderful things on the horizon. I am sure there will be days that aren't so good, hell, I'm sure there will days that totally suck ass, but for right now, in this moment, I am going to believe in the good. I am going to appreciate my children, the two beautiful bright spots in my life, as much as I can. I am going to love my husband even more every day, and remember to tell him so. I am going to remember to be proud of who I am and what I can do, remember to believe in myself. I am a lucky woman who does not want for anything and for that I am grateful beyond measure.
While I am not a religious person, I firmly believe that there are things that guide us in our lives, be they some form of powers that be or simply the amazing energy our subconscious minds produce. I wholeheartedly believe that all things happen for a reason and while they don't always make sense at first, there is a flow to things, a rhythm, a purpose and I am going to let that flow guide me to my next adventure.
At this very moment, I am putting out to the world that I believe my next adventure is a job at Pixar, doing what I know how to do and proving to myself, and everyone else, that I am damn good at what I do.
So to anyone who reads this, know that I am wishing all of you a very happy and fulfilling year. May a dream come true, may a wish be granted, may a goal be fulfilled. Positive energy and love to you all.
